Woodstock: Can You Dig It?

Woodstock dig - R. Drew, AP.jpg

Unnamed archaeologists are doing their part to accelerate the irrelevance of the humanities and social sciences by conducting an extensive dig at the site of the 1969 Woodstock Festival in upstate New York.

According to Deutsche Welle, a team of "historical experts" has already dug up large sections of the fields, including "the marketplace section, where sellers pawned hippie devotionals during the festival had their stalls." One of their most exciting discoveries is a soft-drink pull tab (shown above). Once the detritus of the marketplace has yielded its myriad secrets, the researchers hope "to use the excavations to determine the exact location of the stages on which the bands were performing at that time."

In case you're unfamiliar with Woodstock lore, more than 400,000 children of God went down to Yasgur's farm to set their souls free that long August weekend. It's true that they dropped a lot of acid. But is it not possible—just spit-balling here—that some of them could, even now, with the help of the 90,000 or so Woodstock videos posted online, point out where the stages stood?