Catastrophic Yogurt Spill Closes Highway

Yogurt truck - Dreamstime.jpg

CBC is reporting that the westbound lanes of Toronto's Highway 401 were closed this morning after a transport truck spilled yogurt across the roadway. "The strike sheared off nearly the entirety of the trailer on the passenger side, sending containers of traditional yogurt and also yogurt drinks flying across the highway," according to eyewitnesses. Drivers heading west were advised to prepare for morning delays. Drivers heading east were advised to allow extra time to stop for a tasty smoothie.

Trump administration officials called the mishap a pathetic publicity stunt fomented by Ontario dairy farmers. Alarmed that the yogurt might seep into rivers and farmland, forcing local residents from their homes, environmental activists blamed multinational yogurt conglomerates for putting profits ahead of people.

Satellite images of the spill are being analyzed to determine whether sensitive Arctic ecosystems have been impacted.